You can stick your CCTV, Police State, wheelie bin Stasi, DNA, WMD, “Social Cohesion”, benefits for all, guilty until proved innocent, don’t do that it’s illegal now, can’t say that, ID cards for all, where are you going, what have you been saying/doing/reading, can’t photograph that, how very dare you, golliwog banning, we know where you live, we’re watching you Soviet Utopia up your arses. Sideways.

Wednesday, 15 October 2014

November 5th, 6pm

As is customary at this time of year, I invite you all to a little bit of rebellion. I shall be at the Chandos pub in Trafalgar Square from 5pm on November 5th should you care to join me for the usual sedition, drunkenness, offensiveness and Political trolling. All are welcome.


Tuesday, 30 September 2014

Nunn the wiser

As readers will know, I am an avid supporter of both Liberty and Free Speech, something others have laid down their lives to ensure we are free to enjoy. As a somewhat regular visitor to Twitter (my 36th account is @holbornlolz), the case of Peter Nunn's arrest interested me. He's just been sent down for 18 weeks at Her Majesty's Pleasure for a series of retweets, account changes and loosely veiled "threats" against both Stella Creasy MP and the hysterical moonbat, Caroline Criado-Perez. Coupled with other various outpourings on youtube videos and general ranting, it is quite clear to me that Peter Nunn has a problem with women.

Firstly, I am free to spout my nonsense because I stay within what is a quite well defined legal space - it has always been the case that you cannot threaten or incite violence upon anyone and not expect a knock on the door - but also because (as I was told by the Police) I run a successful blog and half of Fleet Street follows me on twitter.

I certainly don't condone the rantings of Peter Nunn and the law is quite clear that you may not target individuals (harassment) but I do wonder just how political a sentence of 18 weeks in our overcrowded Prison can be justified. Had Peter Nunn had the right to a trial by Jury (as was once the basis of a free and fair judicial system), I am in no doubt he would have been found not guilty by his peers. As it was, a Magistrate decided his fate and in my opinion, hung him out to dry - for words on a screen - and most intriguingly, simply retweeting another user - something also done with the same "rogue" tweets by both of the Claimants.

So the show trial to define what may and may not be said on social media has alas been postponed, and today, yet another authoritarian Home Secretary has decided that people can also be prosecuted for "extremist" views, even if they haven't broken any law. Designed to save us all from head chopping terrorists under our beds, it won't be long before the usual Political mission creep sets in and er... the likes of Peter Nunn find themselves in er...prison. Interesting times, indeed. 


Monday, 1 September 2014

What price Liberty?

Another day, another assault on our liberties. Due to the possible "threat" of an unknown terror attack by an unknown enemy on an unknown date, our glorious "small Government" has decided to install Soviet style restrictions on citizens of this country. Including, but not limited to:

  • Withdrawal of passport by Police on mere suspicion
  • Forced relocation of citizens on mere suspicion
  • Control orders, including curfews, on mere suspicion

Apart from the other torrents of abuse currently being performed by our useless CPS, endless attacks on free speech and the deadly quagmire of Political Correctness, I'm struggling to think of any actual progress our liberties have made since Gordon "the Ruiner" Brown decided to hand over the wrecked economy and CCTV state to new owners nearly four years ago. No proof is required for any of the above, just "suspicion" which will, of course, be limited to brown people only, just as European Arrest Warrants were implemented to deal with big crime bosses yet are now used to incarcerate those who seek a second opinion from someone other than the Glorious Peoples National Health Service.

In 9 months time, we will all saunter off to the polls to elect the next batch of megalomaniacs, already beholden to the unelected EU megalomaniacs and the salami slicing of our liberties will continue (no slicers over 900 watts allowed). We will bark on Twitter at faceless unaccountable politicians (carefully avoiding arrest and following social media guidelines) whilst they happily trample over everything our ancestors earned with blood, sweat and tears. 

I intend to run on a Do NOT Vote platform, as I am utterly fed up with this "democratic" sham that can see utterly corrupt Council officers leap frog into roles controlling the very Police we pay to protect and serve whilst doing the exact opposite. We cannot remove the people we hand collective responsibility to and therefore we will have to take responsibility ourselves. That starts by refusing to play this pathetic charade, fund their ridiculous (and murderous) foreign adventures or support their endless legislation not designed to protect us but to protect the ever growing Big State.

Join me. Enough is enough.


Thursday, 10 July 2014

A new Broom for Democracy

It's certainly going to be an interesting few weeks before our hopelessly corrupt Parliament swan off to their summer villas to frantically call the Chief Whips and demand their foul misdeeds are erased from the "black books" kept in locked safes at party HQ.

I'll assume you're up to a reasonable speed because you know this blog exists or you follow me on twitter (@Turboholborn) so I won't trawl through all the current outrage over missing Home Office files or the vast rumour mill that is the Internet. Want I want to explore is what happens next:

It's been obvious for a while that the Internet is going to change how we are governed and the entire British "Establishment" has been woefully ignorant to accept it. Whilst men in tights doff their caps to an old ruling class firmly ensconced in the make believe world of Hogwarts, citizens have empowered themselves. There are no more secrets and the disinfectant of Internet sunlight is beginning to reach even the darkest corners of our "democracy". Just as the East Germans broke down the doors to the vast Stasi archives and  reeled in horror at the abuses performed by the State to protect the State, we too will have our moment of dreadful realisation.

Then what?

The British Establishment is a vast, complex machine, built over centuries to ensure that privilege, wealth and power remain firmly in the hands of an elite section of society - those "born to rule". Our monarchy, our institutions and our judiciary are an archaic system of near feudalism. Our parliamentary democracy is based on minority rule, our Party Politicians show no allegiance to anyone but the Party and our house of Commoners is anything but. Are we really going to tear it all down and start again? Well, yes, we are.

We won't riot, we won't protest, we won't throw Molotov cocktails, it isn't the English way, but we are changing how we wish to be governed. Our Political masters have never been more despised, more scrutinised or more vilified. Many are simply opting to stand down and pursue other interests and Party membership by citizens has plummeted to almost nothing. The 650 are shortly to become powerless as we withdraw our consent to be governed in this way.

Short of total Minarchy, I'm lobbying for Swiss Style Direct Democracy, where the people decide the agenda of Government and then vote on it, as often as possible. I don't want celebrity politicians, I want administrators. I don't want Party manifestos, I want public debate and I want power returned to the people who must live under the laws enacted by by them, for them.

When the dust has settled, and the foul stench of corruption and abuse of privilege finally clears, I want the establishments that made it possible returned to museum pieces and I want to see modern, small government and citizens as free as the Internet can make them. The time for a Medieval Parliament is over. Let the revolution begin.


Sunday, 25 May 2014



Friday, 23 May 2014

Much ado about nothing

As the results of the latest "election" trickle through, and the various parties hack lumps out of each other to claim their mandates from the voters, perhaps it is worth noting that the biggest vote by far, came from those who didn't vote at all.

30.5 million, to be exact. Think about that for a moment. Only 1 in 3 of those eligible to vote, actually bothered to wander down to some God forsaken primary school stinking of head lice and disinfectant and place a cross next to any candidate at all. Who now speaks for them?

In truth, no one speaks for the 65% of us who dearly wish for a "none of the above" option. Champagne will flow at the various HQs of those who would be our masters and grinning Politicians and Councillors will queue up to impose their will upon us, yet have absolutely no mandate to do so. We rejected them all by a margin of 2 to 1.

This will become a trend as (after the victory heangovers wear off) it slowly dawns on those assuming their positions over us that without the actual will of the public, it's going to be damn near impossible to get anything done - not that they won't try, naturally. But they'll be nervously looking over their shoulders for a pitch fork waving mob coming up the street, rather than the shoulder high carrying hoards they had hoped would elect them.

The voting system in this country is not democratic and it isn't representative - it's simply a mechanism to kick cans down a road and hope nobody minds too much. It could be overhauled - it's not as if it is the only voting system in the world - and it could be made genuinely representative by the implementation of local, direct democracy - the Swiss have managed it superbly - but it won't. Yet.

Until we tackle this beast, we are not represented. Our votes, and more importantly, our lack of votes count for absolutely nothing. A Political elite will simply ignore everything we say, everything we do and carry on regardless claiming a mandate that never existed - much like the faux representation of the "People's Democratic Republic of Sovietism", I can only hope they learn the hard way that once you truly ignore the majority you intend to impose your will over, you are on well trodden path to revolution.

Bring it on. The sooner, the better.


Thursday, 6 February 2014

Peter Nunn and Stella Creasy MP

Well well. Back last year, when professional offendotron and loud mouth Caroline Criado Perez was finding out the hard way that Twitter contains differing views, Peter Nunn of Bristol sent some tweets to Stella Creasy MP (another shrieker of the highest order) and was charged under  section 127 of the Communications Act, which relates to the sending of electronic messages that are "grossly offensive or of an indecent, obscene or menacing character".

He's just proudly appeared at Westminster Magistrates, dressed in a suit and happily posing for photographers before pleading not guilty.

We finally have a suspect who is not a hapless drunken dole monkey and happy to fight his corner, well versed in law and up to prove that abuse is perfectly legal under the CPS guidelines. At last, we will see how the law intends to handle those who will not meekly accept a slap on the wrist for daring to have a different opinion than that of our masters (and mistresses).

I wish Peter Nunn all the success in the world. This will be a landmark prosecution for freedom of speech over social media and will tell us all how the authorities intend to deal with dissent from the lower orders via a medium they are desperate to control. Feel free to follow him on twitter ( and offer whatever support you can - I certainly shall. For the sake of me, you and our children.


Friday, 31 January 2014

Old Holborn’s Agenda for Hope

This post is in response to Owen Jones “Agenda for Hope”

The alarm goes off. It’s dark outside, and single mum Mary wakes to get ready for work at the checkout of a local supermarket. Like most of Britain’s poor, she has a job that leaves her and her children trapped below the poverty line. She finds herself competing with colleagues for overtime, just to earn a few more pounds to spend on her kids. Her employer couldn’t care because he knows it is the taxpayer who has to step in and subsidise those poverty wages to give Mary a chance to pay the bills and feed her children.

Mary had a rough night’s sleep because it’s nearly time to pay the rent. She would love nothing more than a secure, affordable home for her family but, like 5 million others, she’s stuck on a council housing waiting list where the taxpayer will once again subsidise her lifestyle. Her beloved Government keeps her rent high by handing out billions to landlords in “housing benefit” safe in the knowledge they will recover it via the taxation system to once again “redistribute” to the “needy”.

On her way downstairs, 35 year old Mary knocks on the door of her 19-year-old son, Tyrone. He is one of nearly a million unemployed young people. Tyrone sends in biro scrawled CV after CV, to supermarkets and call centres, and often does not even get a response. The odds are that being unemployed at such a young age will leave him with a lower wage, and an increased risk of being out of work, for the rest of his life. Her beloved Government has spent trillions installing an “equal” education system that means he is just as qualified in media studies as the downs syndrome kid who spent all day disrupting the class and stopping anyone actually learning anything of value to an employer.

As she approaches the front door, Mary glimpses another reason for her sleepless night: an unopened energy bill lying on her kitchen table. As the bills have soared, so the hot meals she eats have declined in number. Her beloved Government has pumped billions into the banking sector to hold up corrupt and bankrupt banks via quantitative easing thus reducing the value of the Pound. No wonder everything costs more, the pound is worth less. And so Mary leaves for a grueling shift at the supermarket, working hard to earn her poverty.

Mary isn’t a real person, but there are millions of people in this country who share aspects of their lives with someone like her. We all have to pay, literally, as poverty-paying bosses, layabouts, scroungers and rip-off landlords milk our ridiculously bloated welfare state whilst politicians laugh in our faces.

The beloved Government and much of the media have answers for people like Mary. “Instead of being angry at your situation,” Mary is told, “be angry at unemployed people, immigrants, the EU.” It is an Agenda of Fear. The bankers who plunged Britain into disaster, the politicians in the pockets of the wealthiest bankers and Union leaders, the fat cat public servants and corporate lobbyists – all are let off the hook. The Agenda of Fear makes sure that the real solutions to the problems faced by someone like Mary – and the nation as a whole – are never even discussed.

It’s time for Old Holborn to step in. I give you:

Old Holborn’s Agenda for Hope.

1. Minimum wage has to go. Never mind a living wage, if your labour is not worth what some titled Lord in Westminster decides it should be, you’re on the scrap heap. Forever. If you are naturally too stupid to earn £7 an hour, you are denied the chance to earn £5. The state has to stop setting the price of labour – your labour, your market, your needs – not being forced by law to sit on the sofa on state benefits.

2. Scrap housing benefit – completely. The only reason rents are so high is that Landlords and councils know damn well that some Mandarin in Whitehall will send the housing benefit bill straight back to the taxpayers. If you can’t afford to live in Mayfair, don’t live in Mayfair. Don’t demand I pay your rent whilst the State inflates the housing market.

3. Income tax is barbaric. It is forced theft and the penalties for refusing pay are equally as abhorrent as anything the Mafia could come up with. Set it flat and simple at 10% for everyone, regardless of income and leave money where it belongs -in the pockets of those who earned it. We have up to 80% marginal tax rates in this country, purely so it can redistributed according to the whims of politicians who after 100 years of promises have still not lifted the poor out of poverty. As agents, the State is worse than useless merely creating more clients for its never ending schemes of poverty reduction whilst doing the exact opposite.

4. Slash corporation tax to 10%. Before you scream, please try to understand that every single penny paid in corporation tax to the State is taken from you – either by lower wages or higher prices. Corporations don’t print money, it comes from the consumer via profits or the employees via lower wages. Slash the tax on success and watch competition drive down prices and increase wages.

5. Let bad banks fail. I can’t say it enough. Just one bank failing would send the vital message that the magic money tree no longer exists and it is not the role of the State to prop up bad investments and corrupt practices.

6. Stop the vanity projects. HS2, huge airports, sports stadiums and all the rest are only possible because some poor sod on minimum wage is being forced to pay for it. If business wants it, business can build it. Worked for the railways and the canals, didn’t it? We have commuters traveling 100’s of miles a day to do jobs that can be done locally, whilst the taxpayer subsidises their rail tickets. Local enterprise zones and low taxation will bring jobs to where the people are, not the other way around.

7. The Welfare State. Where do I begin? The population is addicted to free handouts financed by the population via duplicious politicians – utter madness. Poverty inflicted through excess taxation sees working families going begging cap in hand to the very people who grabbed half their earnings in the first place. Scrap it, reform it, do whatever, but do something before we are all slaves to it.

8. Reduce the role of the State to upholding the law and protecting the borders. I see no reason for a State run health service, a state run education service or a state run Hip Hop dance troupe on a State run television service. Decentralise down to local communities with a local taxation for any extra services the community demands – the Swiss do. Any problems there and you go and slog it out with the mayor in a bar on Sunday mornings over a pint – not some gigantic quango in Glasgow with a call centre in Bombay and a chairman on a golden public sector pension payoff.

9. Just leave us alone. Stop meddling, legislating, interfering, measuring, regulating, monitoring, commentating, studying and spying on us. We are grown ups, not children. No one can better represent us than us and I’m amazed that in the 21st century we are still forced to rely on minority representatives to vote on our behalf. For crying out loud, we have the internet now!


Tuesday, 14 January 2014

Dear Steve

Dear Steve Anderson of Cumbria (@womblekicking),

Can we have a word? In the last 8 months, you have reported me to:

  • Two newspaper editors
  • Three national Police forces
  • Interpol
  • Three Members of Parliament
  • The RSPCA

  • You have issued death threats against my wife, my six children and me.
  • You have threatened to kill my work colleagues and burn down my home and office
  • You have reported me for being a Paedophile (I’m not)
  • You have reported me for being a wife beater (I’m not)
  • You have reported me for hitting my children (I don’t)
  • You have reported me for animal cruelty (I don’t)
  • You have threatened my clients
  • You have threatened my wife's employers
  • You have reported me to Denise Bulger (mother of murdered Jamie Bulger) for using the word “Bulgar” to describe the Bulgarian people.
  • You are now accusing me of criminal “harassment”

All because, in my role as a paid Internet Satirist and commentator, you decided to take offence at a joke.

Print this letter, take it to your local GP and ask nicely if he can help you. Whatever you are seeking, I do not have the answer.

Best of luck,

Old Holborn


Monday, 4 November 2013

Turn up the Heat

If given an inch, they will take a mile. It seems our glorious leaders just cannot resist the temptation to stick it all on expenses regardless of the backlash, so it's time to package their arrogance up in brown paper and send it right back to them.

I'm talking about Members of Parliament sticking their heating bills through on expenses whilst presiding over an energy cartel and levying eco taxes on the rest of us. Not only are you struggling to pay your energy bill, you're struggling to pay theirs as well. Enough is enough.

I'm suggesting you invest a fiver in wrapping up an old jumper and sending it to bloated MP currently sitting in a house heated to the temperature of a vivarium. It's time the likes of Nadhim Zahawi put a jumper on instead of claiming an eye watering £5,822.27 from the taxpayer

Send yours to:

Nadhim Zahawi,
3 Trinity Street, 
Stratford Upon Avon, 
CV37 6BL

If you prefer to send your jumper to an impoverished orange Communist, there's always Peter Hain (£4,571)

Peter Hain
39 Windsor Road, 
SA11 1NB

Happy posting, comrades.

UPDATE: Full spreadsheet of MPs claims HERE

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To be governed is to be watched, inspected, spied upon, directed, law-driven, numbered, regulated, enrolled, indoctrinated, preached at, controlled, checked, estimated, valued, censured, commanded, by creatures who have neither the right nor the wisdom nor the virtue to do so. To be governed is to be at every operation, at every transaction noted, registered, counted, taxed, stamped, measured, numbered, assessed, licensed, authorized, admonished, prevented, forbidden, reformed, corrected, punished. It is, under pretext of public utility, and in the name of the general interest, to be placed under contribution, drilled, fleeced, exploited, monopolized, extorted from, squeezed, hoaxed, robbed; then, at the slightest resistance, the first word of complaint, to be repressed, fined, vilified, harassed, hunted down, abused, clubbed, disarmed, bound, choked, imprisoned, judged, condemned, shot, deported, sacrificed, sold, betrayed; and to crown all, mocked, ridiculed, derided, outraged, dishonoured. That is government; that is it's justice; that is its morality.

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